Are you overcomplicating spirit companionship for yourself?

There are a lot of new spirit companions floating around, and that’s wonderful!  However, with some interactions I’ve had with new companions, and seeing some of the posts, I’ve noticed that people have been going into this lifestyle with very high expectations set for themselves right off the bat.  I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that hard, especially for your first companion.  Let me explain what I’m saying, and I don’t mean to point out any people, but this is a very important topic.

You buy your first companion, and you’re very excited to receive them in the mail.  You begin creating an elaborate altar, buy several offerings, essentially have a Christmas tree with piles of presents scattered underneath ready for your spirit by the time they get there.  This is great, and I don’t mean to discourage this type of behavior, but I’m worried that you’re setting very high expectations for the relationship by doing this.  Because, if you have done all this for your very first spirit, when they get to you and they aren’t constantly active or overly communicative or doing anything right away, you’re disappointed.  After all, you put in all this work, right?

So, you start creating excuses.  The spirit must be mad at me, you think.  My room isn’t clean enough, I’m too busy with school/work, I forgot its vessel was there for a couple hours.  The thing is, you didn’t do anything wrong.  Spirits don’t care about that stuff, like, ever, because they understand.  They have lives, friends, family, and jobs, too!  And because of this, they’re very understanding about your commitments.  Also because of this, they’re not going to be around 100% of the time.

Just like any new friend or relationship, you’ve got to learn that while you integrate them into your life, they are integrating you as well.  They’re also making a commitment.  They are not there to judge you, to make your life harder, or to make you feel bad about yourself, and if they are, it is an abusive relationship that needs to stop.  Spirit companionship should enhance your life, not make it more upsetting or difficult.  Spirits should support you, not bring you down.  That is what this whole thing is all about.

When I got my first companion, I had months to prepare because the seller was taking forever to ship his vessel. I bought him a small house, and a handful of crystals.  Whenever I wanted to make an offering to him, I would charge one of the crystals, and stick it in the large part on the bottom of the house.  Whenever I was making a liquid offering, I would fill the dish on the top.  It was a perfect system that kept him feeling cozy, and was simple and not too extravagant.  I have one altar for all of my companions, and they don’t mind if their little slice of real estate only has a couple crystals, because they love every gift from me regardless.  The gifts enhance our relationship, they do not establish it.

Again, I am not discouraging this type of behavior.  The altars you guys create are absolutely beautiful, and I’m sure the spirits are overwhelmingly flattered and happy about these enormous offerings received all at once.  But please don’t allow that altar to set the standard for your relationship.  You are not a slave to your spirit, and you do not have to attempt to please them in a way that is detrimental to you.  Please be safe, and please take care of yourself.